Fatal Family Feuds

Domestic Disputes Come to Church

This article is related to two Safety Member Certification training modules, “Protecting the Vulnerable V5” and “Violent Intruder Response V5;” the Church Security Guide articles “Protection of Children and Vulnerable Adults in the Church” and “Church Safety Teams and Active Shooter Training;” and the affiliate resource House of Faith & Freedom. [1][2][3][4][5][6][7].

The source of domestic abuse is one person trying to control another, which God predicted as a consequence of sin:
“… thy desire [desire to control; see Gen. 4:7] shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16).

But there is a remedy:
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them ... Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. (Colossians 3:19, 21).

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered (1 Peter 3:7).

The church has a role in addressing abuse of all kinds:
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).

Introduction -

A greater share of violent disruptions at churches may now be attributed to local criminal activity and political, ideological, racial, or religious motivations than a decade ago, but domestic abuse continues to be the greatest factor. If there is violence in the church, on church property, or at an off-site church event, we need a good response to de-escalate or stop the violence. However, we hope to avoid being reactive. It is far better to be proactive, addressing the core issues to resolve abuse in homes, preventing it from spilling over into the church.

There was a violent domestic situation in the congregation I attended while in college. The violence did not happen on church property, but it shook everyone. An usher murdered his wife and children, leaving their bodies in a county park. Bringing it personally closer, a fellow student was the man’s brother.

The pastor was distraught, blaming himself for not preventing this horror. Today, there are resources available to help us address domestic abuse, to better equip us to resolve it before it spills over into the community or the church. Not only do the pastors and church counselors have a role, but so does the Safety Ministry.

In the News –

This is just a sample of the role of domestic abuse in violent church incidents.

Sutherland Springs, Texas, November 5, 2017 – A man who had been in an Air Force prison for domestic violence against his first wife before being discharged was divorce and remarried. Again, there was domestic violence. Near the end of October, he "sent threatening text messages to his mother-in-law." He had visited the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, where his wife had been raised. Her mother and grandmother still attended there. His last peaceful visit was at the 2017 Harvest Festival. His demeanor made some of the attendees uneasy.

The following Sunday, dressed in black and wearing a mask, he pulled into the parking lot while the morning service was in session, pulled out a semi-automatic rifle, and began shooting at the building before entering a side door.

Once in, he entered the sanctuary near the front, shouting, “everyone’s going to die!” He fired methodically. The pastor and his wife were in another state ministering to another church. The man killed the guest preacher and his family. Going up and down the aisle he aimed at and shot everyone he saw, including babies. By the time he left, 26 persons were dead and 21 more wounded. Among the dead were his wife’s grandmother and the pastor’s daughter. [8].

Hopkinsville, Kentucky, May 18, 2001 – During the Friday night service of revival meetings, during the altar call, a man entered the Greater Oak Missionary Baptist Church and went into the sanctuary. His wife, their son, and another woman were sitting on the second pew. He went down the aisle and sat beside his wife. She scooted closer to the other woman. They were separated, and she was filing for divorce. He asked her to come with him, but she said, “No,” and moved further away. He then grabbed their son and pulled out a pistol. The other woman reached over to stop him. He fired twice, hitting both women, and ran out of the church holding the boy. Both women died.

The husband was later pulled over by the police and arrested. He pleaded guilty to the murder and child endangerment charges and a few others, entering Alford pleas to the rest, and was sentenced to 125 years in prison.

The man, who was a former assistant pastor at another congregation in another town, had previously been in prison. [9].

Sacramento, California, March 1, 2022 – A family of a man, a woman, and three daughters, attended The Church in Sacramento. They had come from Mexico, where the older two daughters were born. The father was under a protective restraining order; the mother cited ten years of abuse in the filing. Besides this, he was under temporary firearms disability from resisting a DUI arrest. This leads many to suspect alcohol as the leading factor in the abuse.

Because of the restraining order, he had left the home. The church let him stay in one of their guest apartments in another building across the parking lot, and he walked to the restaurant where he worked.

On a Wednesday night, he walked over to a meeting room for a chaperoned visitation with his daughters. The chaperone was an elder of the church who was a friend of the family. When the man came in the door, he raised a rifle and shot the chaperone and the girls, then turned the gun on himself. All died. [10].

Fresno, California, November 5, 2017 – Just hours before the Sutherland Springs and hundreds of miles to the West, in Fresno, California, the 7;30 Sunday Mass had ended and parishioners were laving the St. Alphonsus Catholic Church while others were waiting to come in for the 8:30 Mass. When one couple got into a car, a man walked up, puled out a .45, and fired four shots, hitting each person twice. As they lay dying, he got into his car and left. On the way home he called their daughter and said he was going to die. When police arrived, he shot himself, bringing the death toll to three.

The woman shot was the shooter’s wife, and the man with her was her boyfriend. The shooter and his wife had been separated, but were sharing the same house with separate bedrooms. The week before the shooting, she was filing for divorce and planning on moving out. [11].

Compassionate Intervention –

No marriage is perfectly perfect, at least to our knowledge, but there are many good marriages and many that somehow manage. Abuse in a marriage is not universal, and most abuse is not violent. However, there is still a lot of violent abuse or that which is close to becoming violent. This may be between domestic partners, with their siblings and other relatives, and with the children – many times sons and daughters are abusive and/or threatening to their parents.

When we in a church know of abuse within the church community – members, regular attenders, occasional attenders, and their families – it is an opportunity for compassionate intervention. The goal is resolution and reconciliation, showing understanding and the love of Christ.

Defending the Abused -

This also makes us aware of dangers, not only to the families involved, but also to the church. When the situation is irreconcilable, we may need to be ready to support or shelter the abused persons. If all the parties involved are familiar with the church, the offenders know where to find the other person(s).

Awareness of a potentially violent situation calls for security measures to be taken:

• Access control is always essential. During services, unattended entries are locked. All doors are monitored - someone could come in when a person goes out an exit-only door.
• When an abused person is in the church, greeters, ushers, and safety team members watch for the abuser.
• Sometimes it is not outright abuse, but a child custody issue. Have a safety team member near the child’s childcare area or classroom to prevent non-custodial abduction.
• When there is a credible threat, assign a safety member escort and have the threatened person sit in a different location than usual.
• Be ready to meet the “other person” with the intent of de-escalation. Be alert to any sign of a weapon, not only guns, but also knives or explosive devices. Observe their demeanor. If there is a protective order, call 911.
• If there is a credible threat, contact local law enforcement.
• Watch the outside before, during, and after services. Some attacks are on the street, the sidewalk, or the parking lot.
• Position a safety team member outside to patrol the grounds and watch for suspicious activity.
• Monitor all cameras:
• Watching for occupied vehicles loitering in the parking lot or on the street/road.
• Watch for persons trying locked side and rear doors.
• Watch for persons on foot just hanging around, especially in the bushes or near quick cover.
• Of course, be alert for someone taking suspicious objects out of a vehicle.

Confidentiality, a Key to Abuse Awareness –

Too often church leaders are not aware of domestic violence or threats made to persons in the church. It is embarrassing for other people to know of trouble at home. An abused person is more likely to tell someone of her (or his) situation if it is strictly confidential.

For instance, in Sutherland Springs, people in the church already knew that the man was abusive at home. The shooter had emailed threats to his mother-in-law. If she had shared them with church leadership, they could have assigned people to watch for him and to be ready to stop him. If the security team was short-handed (they were not there that Sunday), the leaders could have requested special protection from the county sheriff’s office, and he could have been stopped outside. [8].

Safeguards –

The church should always be alert for potential violent intruders and take normal security measures to guard against an attack:

• Monitored cameras outside and inside,
• Unattended doors locked (exit only),
• Trained greeters and ushers at entrance and in the aisles,
• Alert for signs of hostility,
• Alert for indications of weapons,
• Alert for violation of norms.

Now threats include hostile vehicle attacks. [12].

Previous SDCS Articles –

There are at least eleven Lesson Learned articles on Sheepdog Church Security about deadly incidents arising from domestic violence. Here are those 11 by order of publication:

2001 Greater Oak Missionary Baptist Church in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, Published February 22, 2021.

2003 Turner Monumental AME Church Shooting, Published April 26, 2021.

2006 Zion Hope Missionary Baptist Church Shooting, Published July 26, 2021.

2006 Ministry of Jesus Christ Church Shooting, Published August 30, 2021.

The Church in Sacramento Shooting, 2022, Published May 3, 2022.

2017 Sutherland Springs Church Shooting, Published July 5, 2022.

2017 St. Alphonsus Church Shooting, Published August 2, 2022.

2008 St. Thomas Syrian Orthodox Church Shooting, Published January 17, 2023.

2013 Saint James the Just Church Shooting, Published March 28, 2023.

2014 Bayshore Baptist Church Shooting, Published May 2, 2023.

2014 Mt. Carmel Baptist Church Shooting, Published June 5, 2023.

Resources -

As a ministry, our goal is saving souls, equipping believers, and helping people in need. There are ministries focusing on dealing with domestic abuse. One of these is House of Faith & Freedom (HOFF), a Sheepdog Church Security affiliate. Their focus is on “intimate partner violence.” This ministry offers resources, including training, books, lists of other organizational resources, checklists, podcasts, message apparel, etc. Featured is the book Ready Refuge by HOFF founder Hannah Fordice. There are eight other books on the HOFF recommended reading list. [7].

Training –

Training and certification through the Safety Member Certification program with eight online training modules is recommended for all church safety team members. Church members and leaders who are not in the Safety Ministry can take as standalone courses individual training modules that are specific for their responsibilities.

An added part of training is the Expert Resources article “Creating a Safe Environment for Vulnerable Congregants: A Guide for Prepared Protectors.” [13][14].

Conclusion –

Protect the church from attacks while protecting vulnerable persons from violent domestic abuse.

References –

1. Kris P. Moloney, Safety Member Certification, Sheepdog Church Security, 2025 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/courses/safety-member-certification-v5-2025].
2. Kris P. Moloney, “Protecting the Vulnerable V5,” Safety Member Certification, Sheepdog Church Security, 2025 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/courses/Protecting-the-Vulnerable-V5].
3. Kris P. Moloney, “Violent Intruder Response V5,” Safety Member Certification, Sheepdog Church Security, 2025 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/courses/church-safety-violent-intruder-response].
4. Kris P. Moloney, Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Church Security, June 9, 2023 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?c=church-security-guide], also 2018 at [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/church-security-guide/].
5. Kris P. Moloney, “Protection of Children and Vulnerable Adults in the Church,” Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Church Security, June 9, 2023 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=protection-of-children-and-vulnerable-adults-in-the-church], and 2018 at [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/child-and-vulnerable-adults].
6. Kris P. Moloney, “Church Safety Teams and Active Shooter Training,” Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Church Security, June 9, 2023 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=church-safety-active-killer-response-strategies], and 2018 at [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/active-shooter].
7. House of Faith & Freedom [https://www.houseoffaithandfreedom.org/ ].
8. Colin Dwyer, “Texas Church Shooter May Have Been Motivated To Kill By 'Domestic Situation',” NPR, November 6, 2017 [https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/06/562299408/texas-church-shooter-may-have-been-motivated-to-kill-by-domestic-situation].
9. Jennifer Shemwell, "Former minister sentenced to 125 years for church slayings," Kentucky New Era, December 13, 2002 [http://www.kentuckynewera.com/article_c94df93f-6816-5980-b538-6153bec53654.html].
10. Rosalio Ahumada and Sam Stanton, "Father kills 4, including his 3 daughters, before shooting himself at Sacramento-area church," The Sacramento Bee, March 1, 2022 [https://www.sacbee.com/news/local/crime/article258904863.html].
11. Associated Press Writer(s), "Husband Guns Down Estranged Wife, Boyfriend In Fresno Church Parking Lot," CBS San Francisco, November 6, 2017 [https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2017/11/06/husband-guns-down-estranged-wife-boyfriend-in-fresno-church-parking-lot/].
12. Simon Osamoh, "Securing the Open Door: How Churches Can Prevent Vehicle-Based Attacks," Worship Facility, January 7, 2025 [https://www.worshipfacility.com/2025/01/07/how-churches-can-prevent-vehicle-based-attacks/].
13. Kris Moloney, Expert Resources, Sheepdog Church Security Bulletin, 2023 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?c=expert-resources].
14. Kris P. Moloney, “Creating a Safe Environment for Vulnerable Congregants: A Guide for Prepared Protectors,” Sheepdog Church Security Bulletin, May 1, 2023 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=creating-a-safe-environment-for-vulnerable-congregants-a-guide-for-prepared-protectors].