Responding to Abuse

What Should We Do When Abuse is Suspected or Discovered?

little sad crying girl sitting on the bed

This article is based on the Safety Member Certification training module "Protecting Children from Abuse."[1]

From the Bible

And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying. And Absalom her brother said unto her, “Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? But hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house. But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth (2 Samuel 13:19-20).

Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the Lord (Leviticus 19:14).

Introduction

In the incident above, Tamar was raped by her half-brother Amnon. Her full brother Absalom and their father King David were both angry when they found out. David did not take any action that we know of, but Absalom plotted then carried out Amnon's murder. How did this help Tamar? It did not. There was no sound counseling or comfort for her, so she remained "desolate."

How does this story speak to us? When we learn of abuse in the church or within the congregation, while the perpetrator needs to be held accountable, the victim needs help.

While we naturally think of child abuse, persons of any age can be abused. Particularly vulnerable are women (sexual harassment), developmentally disabled adults, other disabled persons, and the elderly. This is addressed in Lev. 19:14, which is generally interpreted as to not take unfair advantage of another person's weakness or disability.

On the Web

San Ysidro, California, June 6, 2024 - The pastor of a church is being prosecuted for not reporting sexual abuse of a minor. The charge alleges that he had been informed that the leader of the choir group had sexually abused a teen girl (age 15) after an event in November 2021. Authorities were not informed until the girl herself reported it to police in 2023. Now the district attorney's office is investigating whether there are any other victims. The choir leader had been convicted of sexual abuse when he was 15.[2][3]

Robertsdale, Alabama, June 20, 2024 - A man and his wife in Robertsdale were arrested for child abuse. The police began their investigation after a school teacher reported seeing injuries on a student. Investigators discovered that the abuse had been ongoing.[4]

Columbus, Ohio - The Ohio Department of Aging has issued a list of persons who are mandatory reports of elder abuse. Included on the list are "Members of the clergy."[5]

Ozark, Alabama, September 29, 2023 - A woman in Ozark was indicted for abuse of her mother. The abuse, mostly by neglect, led to the 81-year-old woman's death. She was taken to a hospital after police discovered her "suffering from severe malnourishment, dehydration, and flesh rot."[6]

Miami-Dade County, Florida, May 18, 2016 - A former employee of an agency training developmentally disabled adults was arrested for physically abusing a client.[7]

Riverside, California, January 26, 2022 - A man who had been director for two organizations aiding developmentally-disabled adults was arrested on charges of abuse of a dependent adult and sexual battery. The alleged victims were beneficiaries of the organizations in Riverside. The abuse began in 2015 and was reported in 2021.[8]

The Church and Abuse

Not all abuse of vulnerable persons who are in or associated with the church happens in the church, in its related organizations, or by its staff or volunteers, although more of it is than most members want to admit. Either way, persons who work in the church may know of or reasonably suspect abuse, whether it is sexual, physical, financial, neglect, or otherwise. The issue here is our responsibility when we are aware of abuse. The areas of response are reporting, confronting, and comforting.

Reporting

Abuse that is defined as criminal should be reported to the proper authorities. Depending on the type of abuse and the jurisdiction, this could be law enforcement, the welfare department, social services, the health department, or child protective services. If you work in the church, first report the known, learned of, or suspected abuse to those above you in the church. They should go to the authorities. However, if the suspected abuser is a person above you, a report should go to their superior and/or the governing board. Now this sounds a little dicey, but you may have to also report the abuse directly to the authorities. That would definitely be the case if the offender was the pastor or if no one above you took it to the authorities.

When abuse is discovered, there is a Suspected Child Maltreatment Report to fill out and submit. This is in the free download "Reports and Forms Bundle." Some of the major headings are:

Suspected Maltreatment Timeline
People / Agencies Involved
Alleged Victim's Current Household / Family Information
Additional Family Information
Description of Incident

The Timeline has the Date and Time for

Child Maltreatment Suspected
Service Personnel Contacted (Police, County Social Services)
Church Leadership Contacted
Report Completed: (Oral, Written)

Following this is the note: "If it is a Recent Incident or further Abuse is Imminent Report Immediately. Otherwise, Oral Report in 24 hours." Then there's a question: "Did intake worker accept the oral suspected maltreatment report? (Yes or No)"

Click *HERE* to get the "Reports and Forms Bundle."[9]

Confronting

An abuser needs to be confronted. Primarily this is to stop ongoing abuse and to protect possible future victims.

If a suspected abuser is a church staff member or a volunteer, the first action is to pause (suspend) their work in the church, especially when it involves contact with the victim group. Then if the allegations are true, the abuser would be barred from any position that would put him or her in contact with the victim group.

For instance, in San Ysidro, the abuser should have been set down from leading the choir group and kept away from any group with children or youth. He was not set down until the girl told the police, even though the pastor already knew of it.[2]

Going back a bit, the abuser had been convicted of sexual abuse when he was 15.[3] His juvenile court records may have been sealed, but if the church had known of his conviction, he should have not been in a minor-contact position such as leading the choir group. Conferring with leaders in the churches he previously attended, including in his youth, might have bought this to light.

If the abuser agrees to it, he or she should receive counseling. This is not a guarantee that the abuser can return to a position dealing with potential victims. You may call the ban "protecting abusers from themselves."

Comforting

Sexual abuse is damaging to the victim. This is not always physical. The damage most often is emotional and mental, with loss of self-worth, false guilt, and depression. Some victims become promiscuous, while some become sex-averse. If the perpetrator was an authority figure, the victim may no longer trust persons in that position. For instance, a child abused by a minister may be fearful of anyone in a clerical robe, and if abused by a teacher, a student may not want to go school. One long-lasting effect of sexual abuse is it interferes with intimate relationships.

Stop It Now, an organization dedicated to stopping the sexual abuse of children, lists the troubles an abused child or an adult survivor may have without therapy:

Difficulty trusting others
Poor self-esteem
Anxiety
Feelings of isolation and stigma
Depression
Self-destructive tendencies
Problems with intimate relationships
Problems with expression of sexuality
Substance abuse[10]

The Church Security Guide article "Protection of Children and Vulnerable Adults in the Church" has this advice for talking with an abuse victim:

Stay calm. Children may shut down if they sense a reaction of denial, shock, or disgust.
Never question. Allow the child to talk and use their own words. Never ask the child questions. This can damage a later case. Authorities will bring in someone trained in the forensic interviewing of a child to ask any questions.
Tell the child they did the right thing.
Follow the processes outlined in your state's laws.[11]

This also applies to adult victims.

Training Notes

"Protecting Children from Abuse" is one of eight training modules in the Safety Member Certification program. These are individual online instruction classes, each followed by a test. A person completing and passing the full course will be certified by Sheepdog Church Security as a Certified Safety Member for two years. This one class should be taken by all persons in the church working with children. They should also read and sign the "Childcare Code of Conduct," which you can get *HERE*.[12]

Conclusion

While working to prevent abuse of children or vulnerable adults in the church, we may uncover past or present abuse. We need to know how to respond if and when abuse does occur.

References

Kris Moloney, "Protecting Children from Abuse," Sheepdog Church Security, © 2020 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/bundles/safety-member-certification].
City News Service, "San Diego pastor being prosecuted for not turning in choir leader who sexually abused teen girl," NBC San Diego, Published June 6, 2024 [https://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/san-diego-pastor-being-prosecuted-for-not-turning-in-choir-leader-who-sexually-abused-teen-girl/3534691/].
City News Service, "Former San Ysidro church choir leader sentenced for child sex abuse of 15-year-old girl," NBC San Diego, June 22, 2024 [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/former-san-ysidro-church-choir-leader-sentenced-for-child-sex-abuse-of-15-year-old-girl/ar-BB1oEGBW?ocid=BingNewsSerp] and [https://www.nbcsandiego.com/videos/former-san-ysidro-church-choir-leader-sentenced-for-child-sex-abuse-of-15-year-old-girl/3547175/].
Hal Scheurich, "Robertsdale couple charged with child abuse after teacher noticed injuries," Fox10TV - WALA, June 21, 2024 [https://www.fox10tv.com/2024/06/21/robertsdale-couple-charged-with-child-abuse-after-teacher-noticed-injuries/].
"Mandatory Reporting: Who are Mandatory Reporters?" Ohio Department of Aging [https://elderjustice.aging.ohio.gov/mandatory-reporting].
Richard Everett, "Daughter indicted on murder charge after elderly mother died from alleged abuse, police," WRBL, September 29, 2023 [https://www.wrbl.com/news/daughter-indicted-on-murder-charge-after-elderly-mother-died-from-alleged-abuse-police/].
HHS IG staff, "Man Arrested for Abuse of a Disabled Adult," HHS Office of Inspector General, May 18, 2016 [https://oig.hhs.gov/fraud/enforcement/man-arrested-for-abuse-of-a-disabled-adult/].
KCAL News Staff, "Riverside Man Who Worked With Disabled Adults Arrested On Suspicion Of Sexual Battery," KCAL News, January 26, 2022 [https://www.cbsnews.com/losangeles/news/riverside-man-who-worked-with-disabled-adults-arrested-on-suspicion-of-sexual-battery/].
Kris Moloney, "Reports and Forms Bundle," Sheepdog Church Security, 2016-2017 [https://sheepdog-church-security.ck.page/31e9dcb23b].
Staff, "Why Therapy is So Important for a Child Who Has Been Abused," Stop It Now, n.d. [https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/why-therapy-is-so-important-for-a-child-who-has-been-abused].
Kris Moloney, "Protection of Children and Vulnerable Adults in the Church," Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Church Security, © 2018 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/child-and-vulnerable-adults/] and [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=protection-of-children-and-vulnerable-adults-in-the-church].