Help Them to Be Calm
An article based on the Safety Member Certification training module "Deescalating Disruptive Persons" and the Church Security Guide article "Mastering Verbal De-escalation for Peaceful Resolutions."[1][2][3]
From the Bible
He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still (Psalm 107:29).
Introduction
The mission of the police is to maintain and restore order. That is why they have been called "peace officers." They "keep the peace" in public areas, and the fight against crime falls into that mission.
The mission of church security and safety ministries is similar. It includes maintaining a calm, orderly atmosphere conducive to worship, study, and fellowship. It also means that the congregation is safer, more secure.
When we observe that a person is agitated, upset, or depressed, that is an opportunity to help the person while keeping other people safe by helping them to be calm.
In the News
South Attleboro, Massachusetts, August 27, 2018 - On a Monday morning, the pastor of a church saw a disheveled man sitting on a bench in the foyer pointing a gun at himself while shaking and sweating. When the man saw the pastor, he relaxed.
The pastor asked if he could help him and offered to call somebody. The man said yes, but couldn't say what help was needed. The pastor went into the sanctuary to get a cable he'd left there, then prayed.
Back in the foyer, the pastor asked the man if he wanted to leave. The pastor gave the man his business card. The man said that was best and left, picking up two backpacks.
About a mile away the man had a confrontation with police, was wounded, and was taken to a Rhode Island hospital.[4]
Tyler, Texas, September 13, 2015 - On Sunday afternoon, members had stayed after church for a meeting. A man covered with tattoos and dressed in camouflage pants and boots, a tactical vest, and a black tee shirt came in and asked a deacon if he could ask the pastor for prayer. The deacon took the man to the conference room. The visitor identified himself as "a man of Islam" and said he had the authority to take the lives of those who contradicted Islam.
The pastor, a former parole officer who was trained in verbal de-escalation, was also an intervention specialist in the local school district. He asked the visitor to sit down and offered to get him a cook drink then pray with him. Meanwhile, he saw the outline of a gun in a pocket.
When the pastor stepped into the hall, he whispered to his wife and someone else that there was a problem and everyone needed to get out. That included him.
As the church members left, the visitor left too, driving the opposite direction on the road. He left a note thanking the church for their kindness, and was later picked up by police.[5]
Fayetteville, North Carolina, December 31, 2015 - It was the watchnight service at the church. Twenty minutes before 2016 began, while the pastor was preaching, a man carrying a gun walked in. As the congregation gasped, the man walked toward the front. He told people he passed that "the Lord" had him go to the church "before I did something bad."
The pastor came down and met him. The man with the gun asked, "Can you pray for me?" The pastor took the gun, asked deacons to come, and prayed for the man. The man knelt, then sat on the front pew and asked for salvation. When police came, they took him in for mental evaluation.
Background: The man's wife was ill and the family had financial problems. The church baptized him on a later Sunday.[6]
Winona, Texas, January 3, 2021 - On the first Sunday of 2021, the pastor, his wife, and a deacon opened Starrville Methodist Church (now Starrville Community Church) about 1½ miles southeast of Winona. They did not know of the chase the night before which ended with a suspect disappearing in their neighborhood. They did not see the broken window the fugitive climbed through.
When the pastor checked the men's restroom, he saw the fugitive in there holding a church moneybag. The pastor pulled out his concealed gun and told the intruder to hand over the bag and lie down. He then yelled over his shoulder to his wife and the deacon to call 911. At this, the fugitive-burglar-thief jumped him, grabbed his gun, and shot the pastor, not once but twice. The fugitive then bolted for the door, shooting at the pastor's wife, who was not hit but fell, and the deacon, whom he wounded. Then he stole the pastor's vehicle and fled.
Two years and nine months later, the shooter was convicted of murder. The pastor's widow told the murderer that she was praying for his salvation.[7][8][9]
Dangerous Encounters
Some encounters with disruptive or potentially disruptive persons are more perilous than others. In the above news stories, four pastors encountered armed persons. They responded in different ways with differing outcomes. In these situations, the best results were when the person confronting a disruptive person maintained his own calmness.
- In South Attleboro, the man with the gun seemed to be a potential suicide. The pastor began by asking the man if he wanted help. This helped the man to calm himself. Then the pastor used the time to go and get his cable to pray. Back in the foyer, he said it was OK if the man left, which he did. The man did encounter police later.[4]
* Key point: Leave an out for the subject.
- In Tyler, TX, the pastor, who was professionally trained in conflict resolution and de-escalation, recognized the immediate danger from an armed individual with violent intent. After first treating the armed man with respect and consideration, he bought the time to initiate an evacuation. All were safe. The church then implemented safety & security measures.
* Key points:
- The safety of all is the first consideration.
- Maintain your own self-control.
- Plan how to handle visitors with security in mind.
- During a New Year's Eve Watchnight Service, the pastor was confronted by a man with an assault rifle. Remaining calm, the pastor recognized that the man was distressed but did not want to shoot anyone. The pastor was able to take the rifle, then help the man deal with his situation.
* Key points:
- Discern the mood of the subject person, and be ready to respond to a variety of needs and moods.
- Have security personnel (team members, ushers, and greeters) trained and positioned to recognize signs of trouble and be ready to respond appropriately.
- Meet everyone at the door.
- Be alert for violations of norms.
- Be ready to meet and greet persons of concern to
- Discern whether they are threats.
- Discern what needs they have.
- Respond as needed.
- The pastor in Starrville was surprised by the intruder in the restroom. Since the man was obviously a thief, the pastor's reaction was to draw his weapon, demand a surrender, then call for police. This backfired when the suspect jumped him and took the gun. The suspect then shot the pastor, killing him.
* Key points:
- Have rapport with local law enforcement so you'll be notified of threats and other concerns in your area.
- Since the suspect ditched his vehicle near the church, the pastor or (if they had one) the safety director should have been notified of a suspect at large in the vicinity of the church. Then they would have gone in with caution.
- If notified, search the place in pairs so that you already have backup if a suspect is discovered.
- When encountering a suspect, begin with the least provocative response, using verbal de-escalation.
- If using a weapon to hold a suspect,
- Keep enough distance to avoid a rush,
- Keep eyes on the suspect,
- Have backup.
Other Encounters
While watching people coming into the church, some may catch your attention. It's not always weapons you look for. Be alert for signs of stress, anger, frayed emotions, etc. as well as cold-blooded violent intent. You will see more of real needs than of violent motivation. Showing concern and finding help will often pre-empt disruption while calming a person's emotions. There are a few things we can do that will not alarm the subject person but could lead to assuring them.
- Approach the subject steadily at an angle where you can be seen. We do not want them to see this as an attack or to think we're sneaking up on them.
- Come close enough to talk, but without violating their personal space.
- Stand in a relaxed yet ready posture - the "interview stance."
- Talk calmly and confidently.
- Don't contradict them. Let them know you're listening with statement like, "I hear what you're saying," or "I see that you feel like ___," etc.
- Don't tell them to calm down.
- Keep them talking. This lets off steam.
- Don't make any promises.
Training Resources
"Deescalating Disruptive Persons" is one of eight training modules in the Safety Member Certification program. The eight classes in this course provide a well-rounded grounding in church safety and security. Completing all the modules and passing the tests will earn the student a two-year certification as a safety member. Recertification after two years not only refreshes the training, but updates it with new information, new techniques and methods, new equipment and supplies, and changes in laws and court decisions.
There are other resources to enhance your training, such as:
- The Church Security Guide,
- Sheepdog Sentinel articles,
- Worship Security Academy's Decision Decks (Safety and Security Scenarios in your Pocket),
- Links in Kris's newsletters to Christian Warrior Training videos.[10][11][12]
Conclusion
Observe people coming into the church and be trained and ready to calm disturbed persons.
References
- Kris Moloney, "Deescalating Disruptive Persons," Safety Member Certification, Sheepdog Church Security, © 2020 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/].
- Kris Moloney, Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Sentinel, Sheepdog Church Security Academy, 2023-2024 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?]; and Sheepdog Church Security, 2018 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/church-security-guide/].
- Kris Moloney, "Mastering Verbal De-escalation for Peaceful Resolutions," Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Sentinel, Sheepdog Church Security Academy, Posted February 13, 2024 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=mastering-verbal-de-escalation-for-peaceful-resolutions]; and "Disruptive Individuals: How to De-escalate the Situation," Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Church Security, © 2018 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/verbal-de-escalation].
- Dan Van Veen, "Pastor Faces Gunman in Church Foyer," AG News, August 29, 2018 [https://news.ag.org/en/article-repository/news/2018/08/pastor-faces-gunman-in-church-foyer].
- Emily Guevara, "Pastor calms man during church threat," Tyler Morning Telegraph, September 15, 2015 [https://tylerpaper.com/news/local/pastor-calms-man-during-church-threat/article_925f934b-ac87-5811-8172-47dfbdddae99.html].
- Dan Good, "Man walks into N.C. church with a gun — and pastor calms the stranger and takes away his weapon before praying with him," New York Daily News, January 4, 2016, updated April 9, 2018 [https://www.nydailynews.com/2016/01/04/man-walks-into-nc-church-with-a-gun-and-pastor-calms-the-stranger-and-takes-away-his-weapon-before-praying-with-him/].
- WGV, "2021 Starrville Methodist Church Shooting," Sheepdog Church Security, Published on June 11, 2024 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/articles/2021-starrville-methodist-church-shooting/]; also at Lesson Learned, Sheepdog Sentinel, Sheepdog Church Security Academy, June 11, 2024 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=2021-starrville-methodist-church-shooting].
- Zak Wellerman, "Man convicted of capital murder for killing East Texas pastor gets life sentence without parole," CBS19, September 19, 2024 [https://www.cbs19.tv/article/news/local/day-4-trial-of-man-accused-of-killing-east-texas-2021-shooting-continues/501-a65a37c5-567c-4e5b-9573-391654bf37aa].
- Stephanie Martin, "Mentally Ill Man Found Guilty of Capital Murder for Killing TX Pastor," Church Leaders, September 20, 2024 [https://churchleaders.com/news/496710-mentally-ill-man-found-guilty-of-capital-murder-for-killing-tx-pastor.html].
- Kris Moloney and others, Articles, Sheepdog Sentinel, beginning 2023 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles].
- Simon Osamoh, Worship Security Academy [https://www.worshipsecurity.org/].
- Simon Osamoh, Decision Decks, Worship Security Academy [https://www.decisiondecks.com/].