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Back from the Brink

De-escalating Disruptions

Office conflict. Angry multiracial young men fighting at the workplace, afro guy standing between them.

An article based on the Safety Member Certification training module "Deescalating Disruptive Persons."[1]

From the Bible

He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still (Psalm 107:29).

Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad (Proverbs 12:25)

Introduction

Someone in the church vestibule appears agitated and is talking loudly. How can you cool heated tempers? There is a proven skill called Verbal De-escalation. Some people seem to come by it naturally, and most of us can learn it.

In the News

Jackson County, Missouri, October 2016 - A schizophrenic inmate at the Jackson County Detention Center started having hallucinations. Following the voices in his head, he began trying to hurt himself. The jail has a Behavioral Health Team, and a therapist hurried to the inmate's cell. A guard went with the therapist for security.

Outside the cell, the guard interacted with the inmate, first with talking. Then he began getting the inmate to sing both pop songs and hymns. The inmate calmed down and regained mental balance.

This is what the guard was trained to do. All new hires at the detention center are trained in verbal de-escalation. The county's director of corrections said he wanted to have all new officers trained in Behavioral Health.[2]

South Daytona, Florida, February 8, 2017 - In the office of a South Daytona apartment complex, a resident walked in and expressed a desire to kill someone. An employee called 911 and described the situation to the dispatcher.

The resident became irritated and agitated. He grabbed another employee by her hair and began jerking her around in an attempt to break her neck. He also attempted to stab her with his apartment key. The other employee tried to break this up - with 911 listening - by getting on his back and pounding him with her fists. The assailant let his victim go and took out his anger on objects, such as flower pots and tables.

When two SDPD officers arrived, the assailant was in the parking lot. The suspect threatened one officer, then the other officer began to engage the suspect with small talk, such as college, etc. The officer was able to calm the suspect enough that he passively allowed himself to be handcuffed. The officer kept the conversation going, encouraging the suspect to keep talking.[3]

Baltimore, Maryland, September 9, 2017 - It was an intense situation in Baltimore. A man holding a knife was trying to provoke the police into shooting him. One officer approached the man and began talking with him. The man was still asking the officers to shoot him. The officer got the man to talk. He opened up about domestic troubles. Eventually the man calmed down and surrendered.

While people were praising the officer for saving a life, he credited his training and experience in verbal de-escalation.[4]

style="text-decoration: underline;"Indianapolis, Indiana, May 2024 - A TSA officer at Indianapolis International Airport successfully dealt with two back-to-back behavioral situations. On the secure side of the checkpoint he handled a passenger who was intoxicated. After rotating to the X-Ray post, a mentally-ill passenger went into a crisis fit, rolling on the floor, kicking, screaming. She couldn't handle stress. The officer was able to calm the passenger by talking to her and restored her to normal order. Both incidents were captured by surveillance cameras and were reported in an agency news bulletin.[5]

The Power of Speech

Humans are unique among Earth's creatures. They have speech (language), the ability to express thoughts and emotions through symbols, such as vocal sounds, images (writing), and hand signs. To this add body language, which we can consciously or unconsciously use to non-verbally convey our message.

This gift of speech can be and has been used to influence individuals, groups, and even entire nations. It has been used to hurt people, directly or indirectly, but also to help and heal.

Consider what the Bible says about the use of speech (I've updates some of the verb inflections):

The art of verbal de-escalation is the art of using speech to bring someone back from the brink of disaster. It has literally been a life-saver, not only for distraught persons, but also for others.

Timely Intervention

Verbal de-escalation is an intervention into a personal crisis. Timeliness is the key to success. It must begin before too long, or it will be too late.

Let's take the incident in White Settlement, Texas, at the end of 2019. When the suspect pulled out a shotgun it was too late. Looking back, as has been noted by several persons, someone should have responded to the assailant's suspicious appearance and behavior and intervened. This may have been an opportunity for verbal de-escalation, especially since mental illness was at the core of his crisis.[6]

Causes of Disruptive Behavior

Before we can intervene, we need to recognize the need. If someone does not look normal, there may be a reason. Whether a person is a member of the church, a regular attendee, or a visitor, there are reasons why he or she has a personal crisis. There are six categories of stressors which may lead to disruptive behavior. They are:[7]

Warning Signs of Disruptive Behavior

There are behavioral indications that a person may be at risk of becoming disruptive, maybe violent in some cases:[7]

Physical Warning Signs

Persons under stress or overly angry can show any of several physical indicators [7]:

The Art of Verbal De-Escalation

The method of verbal de-escalation laid out by Sheepdog Church Security in the training module and the Church Security Guide article "Mastering Verbal De-escalation for Peaceful Resolutions" is not unique, but is the standard used in law enforcement, security services, healthcare facilities, mental health institutions, etc. For example, on Google Search under the "People also ask" heading is the question, "What are the five verbal de-escalation steps?" The answer, taken from Vantage Point Consulting (VPC), is as follows:[8][9][10]

This 5 step de-escalation technique helps calm tense situations

*Speak calmly and with the right tone and use of words.

*Ensure your body language is relaxed and in control.

*Make a connection and be empathetic with people.

*Get the agitated person away from weapons, harm, and other people.

*Provide them with choices that empower them to comply

On the VPC site, is this note: "De-escalation tactics follow a path of reducing people's agitation slowly." In other words, it's not like waving a magic wand, but it requires patience.

Start on the Path

According to the Safety Member Certification training module "Deescalating Disruptive Persons"[1], some key areas of consideration in verbal de-escalation are

The Approach

The approach of the de-escalator to the person in crisis is often a make-or-break moment. The goal here is to not alarm the subject, which would lead to escalation, but to be seen as non-threatening.

Body Language

Body language is always important. It is even more so when dealing with someone who is upset. In that circumstance, body language is just as important as words, if not more. Some things not to do are

Some things to do are

Facial Expression

Human faces are designed to show feelings, attitudes, and thoughts. Learn to control your facial expressions. Practice in front of a mirror:

Voice

Your tone of voice matters. For instance, you can listen to someone speaking in a language you don't know, yet discern their emotions. Controlling the way one speaks is a skill learned and used by actors. In verbal de-escalation, we're not putting on a show - we're just maintaining control over ourselves so we can help the subject regain control of him- or herself.

Emotions and Thoughts

"But the fruit of the Spirit is ... self-control ..." (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV). A wise, prudent person exercises self-control, not only over his or her actions, but also over emotions and thoughts. Before attempting verbal de-escalation we need to have the right mindset:

Keep your emotions under control, even when offended or provoked. Sometimes we have to keep repeating to ourselves, "He's not going to make me angry." In 1 Peter 2:23, the apostle presented Jesus as an example: "Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously."

In order to control our thoughts, we may have to correct ourselves when we recognize that our minds are heading in the wrong direction. This takes practice. It's easy to get into a pattern of allowing our thought processes to always continue the way they start. One reason chess players take time to consider the next move is they evaluate the outcomes of potential moves instead of following the first impulse. Before you speak, think, "Where will this statement, comment, or question take us?"

Keep It Going

Verbal de-escalation can be called "conversational calming." For example, in each of the news stories cited above, the officer got the disruptor to begin talking. As the disruptor talked about the reason for his or her crisis, some of the tension drained off. The conversation often took a different turn to other topics in the disruptor's life. This further relieved tension. For a de-escalator, the key is keeping the person in crisis engaged in conversation until calm is restored. This means that the de-escalator is listening. A few keys are:

Training

Training for verbal de-escalation includes practice. Work with other team members, taking turns as the disruptor and the de-escalator. Have a third person play the part of someone in crisis in scenarios you don't expect. Discuss the results.

Conclusion

Jesus said, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God" (Matthew 5:9). Verbal de-escalation is one way of being a peacemaker.

References

  1. Kris Moloney, "Deescalating Disruptive Persons," Safety Member Certification, Sheepdog Church Security, © 2020 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/].
  2. Ariel Rothfield, "Missouri guard sings with inmate, de-escalates situation," WPTV, November 10, 2016, last updated November 11, 2016 [https://www.wptv.com/news/national/jackson-county-detention-guard-sings-with-inmate-de-escalates-situation].
  3. Lyda Longa, "Officer de-escalates situation with mentally ill suspect who threatened leasing agent," The Daytona News-Journal, March 3, 2017, updated March 8, 2017 [https://www.news-journalonline.com/story/news/crime/2017/03/07/rookie-south-daytona-cop-downplays-his-talk-to-calm-volatile-mentally-ill-suspect/21998286007/].
  4. The Associated Press, "Video shows officer de-escalate standoff with suicidal man," Fox 45 News Baltimore, November 9, 2017 [https://foxbaltimore.com/news/local/video-shows-officer-de-escalate-standoff-with-suicidal-man].
  5. Karen Robicheaux, "Indiana TSA officer assesses threat risk; skillfully de-escalates mental health crisis," Transportation Security Administration, May 23, 2024 [https://www.tsa.gov/about/employee-stories/indiana-tsa-officer-assesses-threat-risk-skillfully-de-escalates-mental].
  6. WGV, "2019 West Freeway Church of Christ Shooting," Sheepdog Church Security, September 6, 2022 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/articles/2019-est-freeway-church-of-christ-shooting/].
  7. Based on material from the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety (2014), "Violence in the workplace: Warning signs," [https://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/psychosocial/violence_warning_signs.html].
  8. Kris Moloney, Church Security Guide, Safety Ministry Training Articles, Sheepdog Church Security Academy, 2023-2024 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?]; and Sheepdog Church Security, 2018 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/church-security-guide/].
  9. Kris Moloney, "Mastering Verbal De-escalation for Peaceful Resolutions," Safety Ministry Training Articles, Sheepdog Church Security Academy, Posted February 13, 2024 [https://sheepdog-church-security.thinkific.com/pages/security-articles?p=mastering-verbal-de-escalation-for-peaceful-resolutions]; and "Disruptive Individuals: How to De-escalate the Situation," Church Security Guide, Sheepdog Church Security, © 2018 [https://sheepdogchurchsecurity.net/verbal-de-escalation].
  10. Staff writer(s), "This 5 step de-escalation technique helps calm tense situations," Vantage Point Consulting, no date [https://vantagepointc.com/this-5-step-de-escalation-technique-helps-calm-tense-situations/].